“To Todd Akin” by Ellyn Touchette
99% Invisible: A Cheer for Samuel Plimsol
“America is not the greatest country in the world,” from ‘Newroom,’ an HBO series

29 plays
‘Goons of Hazzard’ by the Dead Kennedys
“NASA’s budget currently represents 0.5% of the US budget, and has been relatively unchanged for 25 years. We are calling for their budget to be increased to 1% of the US budget.”
True nihilists measure aptitude in Kelvins.
True nihilists assume ownership of various bodies.
True nihilists seek solace in a cathode glow.
True nihilists play monopoly, professionally.
True nihilists think biology is a basis for social standards.
True nihilists do metaphorical things unpoetically.
True nihilists see their reflection in the stock market.
True nihilists debate with the words liberal & conservative.
True nihilists have smog scented air fresheners.
True nihilists take multivitamins.
True nihilists dance to the rhythm of a punch-out clock.
True nihilists stare into nature and see vegetation.
True nihilists fall without ever landing.
True nihilists find comfort in labels.
True nihilists prefer the taste of bottled water.
True nihilists think the sky is a static weather machine.
True nihilists never finish their meals.
True nihilists dream of black space.
True nihilists wonder if Nietzsche had a favorite color.
True nihilists forget there will be a day when they’ll be dead longer than alive.
True nihilists listen to blank cassette tapes.
True nihilists dress only to the fashion of fuck you.
True nihilists prefer the filtered end of a cigarette.
True nihilists find convenience stores inconvenient.
True nihilists wish the Bauhaus were an 80’s rap group.
True nihilists eat toast with no jam.
True nihilists are naked under their existentialism.
True nihilists wear ushankas in the sauna.
True nihilists are envious of Bob Ross’ love for trees.
True nihilists vote.
True nihilists think Dadaists try too hard.
True nihilists wear pants, begrudgingly.
True nihilists drink Old Mr. Boston on the regular.
True nihilists find French nihilists too depressing.
True nihilists wash their clothes as they shower.
True nihilists loiter at the Sears tire section.
True nihilists think God is just a human.
True nihilists listen to dubstep on mute.
True nihilists consider cubism to be square.
True nihilists think government spending is an oxymoron.
Studs Terkel recites ‘Blessed be the Nation’
I saw to what extent the people among whom I lived could be trusted as good neighbors and friends; that their friendship was for summer weather only; that they did not greatly propose to do right; that they were a distinct race from me by their prejudices and superstitions, as Chinamen and Malays are; that, in their sacrifices to humanity, they ran no risks, not even to their property; that, after all, they were not so noble but they treated the thief as he had treated them, and hoped, by a certain outward observance and a few prayers, and by walking in a particular straight though useless path from time to time, to save their souls. This may be to judge my neighbors harshly; for I believe that many of them are not aware that they have such an institution as the jail in their village.
Understanding the Syrian Revolution in Under 4 Minutes.